Well today from my perspective was a pretty screwed day. i was feeling pretty hearty inthe morning though. maybe it's because i slept too much and left my econs homework undone, but i was still confident of that miinute chance i could stay thru appeals. The phone rang, and the games began

"hello?.. gabriel? you check already not?" Yida mumbled. " no .. you check liaoz ar?" i was starting to get that creeping fear up my back..." i got posted to national junior college." .... O.O....omg? if yida cnnot that means.. all our class the 8 pters highly likely to be screwed over.

Student lounge...... logged in and saw njc. cant say it wasn't expected. but i had that sinking feeling... I relaxed a bit for a while.. and did my econs essay apparently not really absorbing the full urgency of the matter. then our ct rep arrived.. god noes y everyone decided to check their results then... abd b4 i knew it.... poof heading to the general office...

i guess the speed of yida's reactions to the matter was wad shocked mi most. i wanted to attach more things to substantiate my staying in hci. thins i hadn't prepared.. like a recommendation letter from here and there.. wad shocked mi second was that everyone was more well prepared for this than i was. and that scared me a lot. Yida called his parents down.. and i tot: " he's playing serious now..." i ponned the whole of the csp for the 1st time in college life. And that tore at mi. i was too used to being a guai student. Then again.. no one cared. i worried for the whole period... talking to my mother and despairing over it all. I was too scared i didn't have enuf omphf to get in thru general appeal. and news on cca appeal were not really veri prospective considering i had to beg for it...( throws face..) out of the 4 of the ppl in the class bench lamenting over our appeal forms.. i had the least impressive resume, and that really demoralised mi.

yida told mi that parents would have a stronger front in such things. and so i brought my mom along.. much to her high pitched complaints, at 5 pm to see the vp.

mr chan wasn't much of a hope giver either. i dunno y i even bothered with it. he kpt saying that we muz not get hopes too high... wad's worse id that some people had spread to mi that girls mite have a higher chance of entering as hci lacked gurls.( as we can see from the many classes around us... tchs infestation) i was like.. ( OHH SHHH***T enough of all the pessimistic tok.. i am already pessimistic enuf without people giving me worse news.) the vp had one answer to all my mother's requests. and that was " i try lah, but in the end it is all up to the board to decide". the answer to " how much of a chance was." 9 pts not that good. there are people with lower scores and more achivements than he has but we will TRY to consider that he is in hci for 1st 3 months)... TRY is a veri strong word mr...

wad's worse is that someone told mi that cca appeal and general appeal will be considered together and one of them will be voided. and my hopes were pinned on cca choir appeal form .. WHICH ... i filled up without much deliberation after assembly 2 weeks ago. the teacher din even want me to attach a cca cert or testimonial until i told him i WANTED to.is he toying with me? and my handwriting and other things in the form were screwed up. god knows what i wrote under pressure from him in the central plaza( AND I DIN HAVE A TABLE... my handwriting was atrocious) <-----------i am freaking out.. i said that twice.

god save...... us all. did i dig my old, old achivements out for nothing?